Etiquette Guide To… Asking For Gifts

We know that asking for gifts can feel awkward and that it might feel easier to avoid- we promise you it’s not! You’ll receive gifts you don’t want or need if you don’t share a list, which is a shame for everyone involved.

Whether you’d just really like some cash towards your honeymoon, specific products, or hope that your guests donate to charity, here’s how you can let them know your gift wishes without being crass…

Give specific instructions to your guests, along with your gift preference

There are plenty of beautifully written poems online that you can use to let guests know what type of gifts you would like but remember to be specific about how these should be received.

Whether you’re asking for gifts from an online gift list like Prezola, The Wedding Shop or our GiftFund, collecting vouchers for a specific store, or asking for cards and cash on the day via a ‘wishing well’- it’s important you let your guests know exactly how they should proceed when gifting.

For online gift lists

Prezola have a selection of brilliant words and poems that work for online gift lists:

‘We’ve lived together for a while,
and our home is kitted out in style.
But a new car would be really smashing.
So, if you’d like to chip some cash in,
Prezola is the place to do it.
It’s all online – there’s nothing to it!’

For on-the-day gifts

If you’re happy to receive cards, cash and gifts on-the-day, set up a dedicated space at your venue and let your guests know:

‘If you would like to honour our wedding with a gift, we will have space at our wedding for cards and gifts. Simply look for the wishing well at the reception to leave your best wishes and donation.”

“Your love and company on our wedding day is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to help us celebrate with a gift, a wishing well will be provided on the day.”

There are also some humorous poems for your wedding website:

“Because at first we lived in sin
We’ve got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you would be swell
But we’d prefer a donation to our Wishing Well!”

“We haven’t got a gift list, for all of you to see,
Because as you all know we never can agree!
But if you’d like to help us, start our married life,
cash or high street vouchers, would save a lot of strife.”

For Cash Gifts

If you’re asking for money contributions, let your guests know exactly how you’ll be using their gift so it feels more personal.

GiftFund is our simple and integrated cash gift platform that lets you collect funds directly from guests instantly- and you can tailor your message and add photos to make it clear to your guests how you’ll use contributions.

You can keep it simple and say:

“In lieu of gifts, we would appreciate contributions towards [house deposit/honeymoon etc]”

“We are fortunate enough to already have all the physical items we need, but would appreciate any contributions towards [how you’ll be spending the money]”

Or you can tailor your message to match your request:

For a new home fund

‘As we’re getting married we thought it would be fun,
To move into a brand new home — we need to get it done.
As wedding gifts are bulky and we’re a little short on space,
Some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!’

“So what do you get
For the bride and groom
Whose house needs things
In every room?
When shopping for a present please don’t be rash
As there is always the option
To just give cash!
We hope you don’t find
Our request to be funny
But we really would appreciate
A gift of money.”

For honeymoon contributions

“We know it’s traditional to write a list
But in this case there is a slight twist
Our home is complete with the usual stuff
And the things that we have are good enough
Our dream is to honeymoon in a foreign land
And walk along the beach hand in hand
We hope you don’t think of us as being rude
And that our request is not misconstrued
But a contribution to our honeymoon pot
Would be appreciated such a lot
But the most important thing to say
Is that you are there to celebrate our day!”

“We can’t wait to spend our wedding day with you,
We’ve been planning hard and spending money for a good year or two.
As we’re keen to start our married life in style,
An amazing honeymoon would really make us smile.
Instead of a gift list from a high street shop,
We’d really love some money so on a beach we can flop!
Your financial donation would truly mean a lot,
So thank you for contributing to our honeymoon pot!”

For charity donations

“Well, the time has finally come
We’re about to tie the knot
If you could spend the day with us
We’d like that – a lot!
Your company is all we need
Honestly, it is
Come join in the celebrations
Have some cake, a glass of fizz
We have no need for gifts
As toasters – we have many!
But there’s a charity close to our hearts
Who’d appreciate a penny
If you could give to them
That’s the best gift we could ask for
Then bring yourself to our wedding
With a smile, and nothing more”

With GiftFund, you then add your payment options so guests can contribute at the click of a few buttons.

Find out more about GiftFund

Prioritise Your Guests

Whatever gifts you ask for, it’s important that your guests feel no pressure to spend money on gifts, and your main priority is their attendance.

Our favourite ‘‘oldie but a goodie” phrase says all you need to say:

‘“Your presence at our wedding is the greatest present we could ask for. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, [give gifting instructions]”

If you’re having a destination wedding or multiple events, make sure your guests know that you understand that their additional wedding costs their gift to you may be limited:

“Your presence at our wedding is the greatest present we could ask for, and we understand the money you’ve parted with to join in our celebrations. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, [give gifting instructions]”

“Gifts are not expected as we are delighted that you have travelled some distance for our special day. However, if you would like to provide a gift, we have a Gift List at [add details here]”